October was busy month for Walmart. My love/hate relationship with the super giant is still in tact and rightfully so. For the month of October there’s been a bleach fight between 2 women which lead to a HazMat (hazardous material) team coming out, the reintroduction of layaway and most recently a murder.
Theresa Monique Jefferson
(Credit: AP), (one of 2 women who threw bleach on each other in Walmart)
In a previous blog I suggested shopping there on certain days to avoid the highest percentage of Walmartians and now I’ve come up with a plan to protect you physically and emotionally.
Step 1-the reintroduction of the “fanny pack” (perfect for concealing pepper spray, taser and other necessities)
Step 2-park under a bright light and grab a cart prior to entering as it may also be used as a weapon if need be (plus sometimes they are hard to find in the store on government free paydays)
Step 3-wear sunglasses (to appear unapproachable) and an ipod/mp3 with earphones (as to not hear screaming children and employees announcing lost companions at front desk)
Step 4-have your list in hand and ready to go. At no time are you to look around for the list while in the store, that will slow you down and leave you open to communication with others
Step 5-be prepared with exact change at checkout. There’s no room for failure here. The ATM/credit card machine could stop working, cashier may need change, cashier may need a check signed by a manager, any of these can happen further keeping you there longer than desired.
Step 6-place bags in cart while cashier is scanning, do not wait for entire order to be scanned before doing so, yet another way to hold you up.
Step 7-listen closely, you’re almost finished, once all bags are in your cart, look down and push forward, bob, weave, swerve and by all means move quickly, do not stop, do not hesitate you must get to your car ASAP.
Step 8-remove 1 earplug in order to hear surrounding sounds, unlock and unload. The downside to this is I do recommend shopping with children 12 and older only (they can help unload quickly and don’t need to be leashed to your cart for their protection).
Try these simple steps for all Walmart excursions for a hopefully easier experience. This week’s challenge is to try out the steps or shop at Target.
There are always points to ponder when you follow Chase in the city.
Ella
